How to be Gil in 3 steps
by The Person Who Rights
Summary: [on hold]Post Series: Gil was reincarnated because satan was in danger of losing his job.. Chaos ensues. Pairings: None. Rating to be safe. I guess it's AU.. Erm.. Randomness is rampant.
1. False Prologue

How to be me in steps of three! This rhyming title brought to you by Gill!  
  
Hell-o! I'm Professor Gill Helbert, your specialist in evil deeds! As you all know, being evil is fun! (Until some robot squashes in your brain) So today, while Aree (Hono) gets ready for a barrage of Kikaider (grrr.) fandom! (Double grrr..) So in three easy steps- you too can be as evil as me!  
  
Oh yeah, And Aree don't own Kikaider (grrr..) or Heaven.. or Hell.. or the Armageddon Lord (Armi-kun!).. Or me. Instead, she kidnapped me and gave me happy pills and PEZ (which she doesn't own.. but I soon shall!). Those things are good. ALL YOUR PEZ ARE BELONGING TO ARMI-KUN AND ME! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Remember my loyal minions, While I am chained to a very large tree, along with Armi, I can still bite. Oh yes. and there will be excessive amounts of randomness! Stay tuned! Oh, And gimee some PEZ  
  
A/N: Yes... That is my prologue. This story is just to get me into writing gear as I have been lagging for a while. I did a humor since I'm sick and giving off excessive amounts of Hyperness. Ohhh. I did SP for that is it came up with hyphens. FEAR MY HYPENS POWER! 


	2. True Prologue

A/N: Ok, this is actually the story now. Gil was still. umm...'happy' and 'PEZed' when we did that. That was the False Prologue. This is the True Prologue.  
  
True Prologue  
  
Satan sat at a desk in a business like suit in a Lazy Boy. It was very strange to have a desk inside a lazyboy. but He was Satan, he could do what he wanted. Lucky dog.  
  
The line in front of me was large. I, Gil Helbert, couldn't stand waiting for another year, so I cut. I cut right in front of this Hitler guy. He rambled off some creative German, I rambled some back. Hell really was full of Goodie-goods. I could've done ten times worse then those people. In fact, I already had, and I was proud.  
  
"Next!" Satan said that in the voice of a little girl.  
  
"I, Gil Helbert, The must evil of all hell, am here!" I said humbly. I could see the extent of Hell behind him. It was fairly small. One of two people walked around, only to fall into a pitch or get "fired." I laughed. I would rule Hell, then I too would get a lazy boy! Bwahahaha!  
  
"Um.. yeah. Go over there with that guy, Armageddon Lord." He said, pointing to the only tree in hell, when AL was tied up.  
  
"Armi-kun!" I yelled to Armi, running over and hugging him. In hell, we were to same height. Steroids wore off.  
  
"Arm Arm!" he yelled, in a way similar of Pikachu, who was also here in Hell.  
  
"We shall take over Hell and be the most evil people ever! Bwahahaha!" I stated.  
  
"WHAT?!?" boomed the squeaky voice of Satan.  
  
"I am more evil then you. Although the high octaves of your voice do make you formidable, I shall rule Hell. And In hell, I can say hell all I want, And the Author won't bap me! Bwahahaha! Ah, Yeah, and your name sounds like 'Saint Ann!'"  
  
"That's it. I'm calling Gab." The high pitched voice of Satan said as he picked up a pink flowery phone. "Yeah, Gab, baby, we got a problem. I'd like to call for a meeting. No, not in Heaven. Yes, Obli is fine. K, Hun, meetcha there." He then made a kissing noise.  
  
In "Obli" there was nothing. Just a pretty girl siting at a table drinking tea. She patted the seat next to her and motioned for the Ruler of Hell.  
  
"Hey Gab-baby. This is Gil Helbert and Armageddon Lord. They are plotting to over take hell, and well.. You know Gabby, we wouldn't be able to see each other."  
  
Gab gasped in a low voice. "My Goodness! That would be simply horrible! God would not approve. As his representative, I feel I must prevent such a catastrophe. So what should we do?"  
  
"Reincarnation?"  
  
"That may work."  
  
I couldn't stand them talking about Armi-kun and I like that so I spoke up. "What the fu-"  
  
The Author herself then descended into Obli and Put me into a strangle hold. "Now you be a good evil maniac and don't curse!"  
  
"O-o-okay!" I coughed out.  
  
"Good. Continue!" she said and ascended back to her spinny chair to inflict more randomness to FF.net.  
  
"Ok, What the fruit basket is up with your voices?" I asked.  
  
They both blushed. Gabe spoke up in her manly voice. "You see.. We umm.. have rules in the Afterlife.. and well.. when two fall in love and.. well.. This is a PG rated fic."  
  
I blinked.  
  
"You switch voices if you kiss." Stated Satan.  
  
They when back to discussing my fate, as Armi-kun gnawed at our chains. I thought for a moment. If Armi-kun when to Hell... and he's a robot, where did all my employees go?  
  
"Fine." The two agreed.  
  
"What?" I asked, I wasn't listening.  
  
"We're going to Heaven to make the final arrangements on your reincarnation. We have to split you in two, and reincarnate the not so evil side of you. Can't reincarnate the whole thing. Too evil." Said Satan.  
  
"In two?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
TBC!  
  
Gil will be already reincarnated in the next issue. That's when the story begins. REALLY begins. And Saburo will eventually show up. 


	3. Authorive Notice

K folks. I write and update on the weekend.. but I may be busy. I have plans for during the day Saturday, and I'll probably spend Friday cleaning up after Isabel hits. She should be here in a couple hours. I'm ready. No so sure about my mom and dad's house though. They have flooding problems.  
  
Anyway, with luck the story will be updated Sunday. 


	4. Fin

A/N: Bwahahaha! Isabel is a softy. I didn't have school today, so I continued. I may get another chapter up later on on Sunday.  
  
Last Prologue/ Chapter 1:Fin.  
  
Last Prologue  
  
----(Gil POV)---- I finally escaped the Heaven Petting Zoo were I was forced to serve my sentence for eternity. They say hell is full of demons.  
  
It's been 15 years since those two idiots reincarnated half of me. I spent a year or so with them as they sorted out problems in their relationship. "Me, those two are angsty." I stated over my breath. Yep, over. I'm special. I received evil looks from both God and Aree. Never imply yourself as god in Heaven.  
  
I managed to get past the guards at the pearly gate. After stealing the silver lining of the nearest cloud, I stood at the edge of Heaven and looked down. That was a long drop. Oh well, I thought. I jumped.  
  
Chapter 1: Fin ----(Gab's POV)----  
  
I went to go check up on the half entity, Gil. He'd tried to steal Hell from my Satie-poo! How mean. I glanced down at the bundle of joy in my arms and smiled. So pink and soft. So little. So many fragmented sentences. A gift from God. Yep. God sent Satie-poo a nice new pair of socks! After smiling at the thought of my Satan's small feet I heard the sirens.  
  
"What? Who the hell'd want to escape HEAVEN?!?" asked Ezikiel.  
  
"Maybe it's a false alarm!" suggested Saint Peter.  
  
"Maybe someone's pants caught on fire and they were destroyed in a blaze of humility!" said my older sister Seraphim.  
  
"Maybe someone wanted to go skydiving!" thought Timmy, the supposed littlest angel. I accidentally stepped on the real littlest angel.  
  
I ran over to Satan-kun, who was visiting. His face was grim.  
  
----(Gill's POV)----  
  
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.HHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HH.HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.HHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.thud.  
  
----(Satan's POV)----  
  
I realized it was grave. It was sitting there, cold and gray. It loomed from the mists of the earth below. Yep. A grave, alright.  
  
As for the situation, it was pretty bad. Gil had escaped, and although he probably couldn't fuse with his reincarnation, there was always that possibility.  
  
"SATI-POOOOOOOO!!! Satie-poo, what's going on?" asked the manly-voiced angel.  
  
"Gil escaped. There's a cloud without a silver lining. Pearly Gates are down until a criminal analysis can be performed. Oh yeah, and Armageddon Lord escaped into hell a few minutes ago and caused Hell to freeze over somehow. So basically.. We got to let all the dead people in Limbo. And you KNOW what that means." I answered her.  
  
"No, No. No, it can't be."  
  
"That's right. all the cabins will fill up. I'm sorry, Baby. We can't go on vacation next month."  
  
Gab was angry, as could be seen in her red eyes and the flames surrounding her. Well, I think she was mad. It could have been gas. "THIS CALLS FOR DRASTIC MEASURES!!!" she shouted and picked up an evil looking dusty phone. "Listen. We got a problem. Yes. I'll positive. Thirty mill? You got it. Ok. Yes, I'm sure you'll like this. Yes. Ok. Bye!"  
  
"You didn't."  
  
"I did."  
  
"Crap."  
  
----(Gil's POV)----  
  
"CRAP!" I yelled. "What did I land in?" I asked myself. It was squishy. And warm. A slight odor filled my nose.  
  
"Crap! It's crap!" I yelled. Then I sensed something. A tingling sensation. Mosquitoes. That was why I hated earth. But no. I was a spirit. My reincarnation was close. Just then, a teenage boy walked over to me and stared.  
  
"Hahaheheha!" he laughed. "You're covered in crap!" he laughed again until I used what was at my resources to stop the laughing child. I throw the brown stuff at him. I glanced at the name on his vest.  
  
"Fin"  
  
==== A/N! Bwahahaha! Cliffies! I know it's not that funny. But this was important. Who did Gab call? What of this Vacation? Will the demons of hell freeze to death? Will there be a snowball fight? Who is Fin? And most importantly, why did God give Satan socks? Tune in next time to have one or two of these questions answered, only to be replaced with more questions! 


	5. My ansty teenage life

A/N: Other chapter eaten.. must write from memory. This shall be a quick fix.  
  
----(Some random Angel named Bob's POV)---  
  
I was talking to my friend Ester on the third special looking phone mentioned in this story.  
  
"Yeah, Yeah. I know. I know his book is the number one best seller in the world. Who cares?" Ester began.  
  
"That guy I told you about.. He's scary." I replied  
  
"He just wrote a bunch of stuff down. I told you that."  
  
"What about Relavations? Isn't that foretelling anything? Or is that crap too?"  
  
"The Relavations were written to scare the pi--- Ah! Gahh! Oh!"  
  
Aree loomed over the body of Ester, blowing the smoke from the Plasma-gun. "Consider that Censored."  
  
Back to me. I laid back in my chair. Ester sucked anyway.  
  
I hung up, then went off to hang up Ester's phone.  
  
----(Fin's POV)---  
  
I was walking home from another dreary day in the hell known as school. No. Deep in my heart, I knew there was no comparison between the two places. School was much worse.  
  
Life can be horrible sometimes. The person you love most hates you, and you sometimes have nowhere to go. Sometimes I feel as though part of me is missing. My English teacher hates me. I have no friends. My name is Fin Warren. And yes, this is the story of my angsty teenage life.  
  
I was born in a small---  
  
"CRAP! IT'S CRAP!" cried a voice from a nearby stable. That stable never ceased to poke wonder into my heart. I always would pass it and wonder, why is there a stable is the middle of Sendai? But it is a very nice stable. The nicest, in fact, in the entire city. Well, the only stable I've seen but still, such a pretty shade of lilac. I never believed stables to be li-  
  
"SHUT UP!" yelled Gab from the sky.  
  
Satan poked his snow covered head though the pavament. "This is a humor fic! They don't care about a da-" Aree pointed a laser at him. "Darn lilac Stable."  
  
Then god spoke up. "Yeah! So just get on with it!"  
  
I stood my ground. "B-but.. Aree said that if I agreed to be in this thing.. I could be all poetic."  
  
Aree aimed the large, silvery gun at me. "Get on with it!"  
  
I huffed. "FINE!"  
  
You all know what I said to the crappy guy in from the last chapter, so I don't have to say it! ^_^  
  
----  
  
A/N. That's all for now. There. I answered one question. Fin is a High school student. And I brought up more! Where did Aree get the plasma gun? Who is the scary guy? Why does he want to know about the Bible? And most importantly, did poor, poor Ester even realize what might happen if you curse?  
  
And I realize the lack of funny, but I'll probably update this chapter later. Now time to work on Lost generation and my Yu-Gi-Oh fic.. 


	6. Sad news

Ok, so this author's note is just to say.. WTF?? I read a summery for the Kikaider vs Inuzaman or whatever.. and Jiro is the bad guy. o.o;; Me thinks that hell shall re-freeze over...  
  
And also.. I am very very sad to say this will no long update--  
  
Gil-chan: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
  
Aree: A-  
  
Gil: ::sobs:: why??? Why are you so cruel? Think of the children! ::points to AL, Fin, Satan, and Gab. There is also a shadowy thing there.::  
  
Aree: Umm... I going to say "Annually"  
  
Fin: Eh?  
  
Aree: ^^ I have a Muse for Trigun now! ::huggles an OC which will appear in LGIII::  
  
OC: HELP!!  
  
Aree: Any ways, 3 Steps will now update saratically. Or, when ever I can. The LG series will eventaully update. And my other Kikaider story I've been working on, "Coming Home" Ichiro is in it. I'll let you figure that out.  
  
-  
  
Also, I may write a Yu-Gi-Oh AU.. But need to chose which one I want to do.. I am not doing two. So tell my in a Review which you want.  
  
Joseph: Serenity never knew she had a brother, until she got the money for her operation. Now, she's off to find him. Her only clue, his name is 'Joseph' (Drama... slight Angst)  
  
A Millennium's Fate: Yugi was kidnapped. Joey is Dead. What can everyone do, now that another ancient force is targeting Domino? (Drama, Adventure, Angst, ect..) 


End file.
